today the guilty feeling I had was not being the kind of wife to tell stever "you'll live forever baby- you'll make it through this". I was the wife saying- "can we just concentrate on the next few years instead of worrying about retirement?"
Isn't that rotten?
what else.
I did a couple chores today. I went to the gas station and I dropped off and picked up my drycleaning. And I didn't cry during any of my chores. I cried at the social security office but that seems appropriate. The woman there said there were a surprising number of young people losing their spouses. I think I'm young- or at least in that context.
I went to work today.
I like thinking of things I should be proud of. I had to think of Steve not to rush straight to work after my appt to do those chores. Steve never rushed through things- he appreciated the moment and did what he felt like doing. There was always time to get to work. though that wouldn't really fly at my company.
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